See the check below?  Look who it’s made out to… yours truly.  Me.  How did I receive such an enormous check in the mail?  From Microsoft, no less?  It’s called, “owning two shares of Microsoft,” my friend, and earning dividends.  Owning two shares will undoubtedly skyrocket you to the status of part-owner of the Microsoft Corporation, and consequently bestow upon you the honor, power, connections, and wealth that will afford you the ability to never work again.


Untitled
   I receive these checks quarterly, and subsequently deposit them into my checking account.  Every time I bring one of these jealousy-inducing checks to a teller, I get a look of genuine shock and awe at the size.  I know the tellers are always thinking: “How’s this 20-something, awesome guy getting a check that could change the average person’s life?”  After the deposit, I smile and am on my merry way,  in my Porsche to the bay where my yacht is docked, as you can see below.

boat

   I know what you are asking: “How can I start earning the big bucks like you!?”  Well, it’s not easy.  You will need about $70 to purchase the two shares of Microsoft and to cover the cost of the trade.  Difficult, yet extremely rewarding.
   You can be a millionaire in no time.  At 26 cents every three months, it will take you only 962,000 years to reach one million dollars!  Get started!

porsche
My Porsche.


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1 comments

  1. Adam // March 19, 2010 at 5:21 PM  
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