The other day I arrived at the Boston Public Library at Copley about 20 minutes before I was supposed to me a friend there. It's just impossible to anticipate when trains will come, so I left my apartment early and stepped onto the train platform just as a train was pulling in. Perfect timing! Anyway, across from the library and right at the Trinity Church was a small Farmers Market, and since I had some time to kill, I thought I'd do a little perusing. All the baked goods and pastries looked amazing, but were totally unkosher, so I had to painfully pass up those purchases. Finally, when I was almost done checking out all the tables, I saw one table with bags of lavender seeds. Then I remembered how the smell of real lavender is supposed to help you relax. So I bought a small bag for $2. Then a lady suggested I buy a baby sock, put the lavender inside, seal it, and use it as a "sachet," which is apparently just a fancy word for bag-filled-with-stuff-that-smells.

Then today, I bought some inexpensive baby socks, a 4-pack for $2, at Walgreens, and I was good to go.

The only problem with this plan is that I don't know how to sew... or I didn't know how to sew. I do now, thanks to this website, and after 10 minutes of sewing, I am now a professional.

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for... my finished bag-filled-with-stuff-that-smells. (I refuse to use the word "sachet").



The moral of this story? Since I bought a 4-pack of baby socks and only used 1, I have extras. So, if anyone needs 3 baby socks, make me an offer (the offer should consist of you taking them for free). That is the moral.

The second moral is that you can make what I made for $2.50 or you can go buy the exact same thing in a store for $15. I would suggest the former, especially because of the satisfaction factor.

The third moral is that lavender really does help you relax... I think.

I just read over the credit card benefits for my Visa Signature Card. They are amazing, especially the one that covers whatever I buy from an alien attack. If an alien spacecraft (only a "spacecraft," not an alien him or herself) destroys a TV that I buy with that credit card, Visa will reimburse me for it or repair the damage. Fantastic! I am totally covered! I should start using this credit card just so I can own things that are insured against an alien attack.

Here's a screenshot with the PDF from Visa to prove it: (Click it to view a larger and legible version of this tomfoolery).




I hope aliens do attack just so I can take advantage of this sweet benefit.

Since my opinion is objective, I can definitively state that dogs are better than cats:

"Dogs are better than cats."

The 9 Most Important Reasons Why Dogs are Better than Cats:

1. All cats are evil, all the time, in everything that they do. Everything a dog does is innocent, even if he or she bites you. A dog will bite someone only out of love, whereas a cat bites and scratches out of hatred.
   
2. Cats always have an ulterior motive (probably something evil). Why do dogs do everything they do? Because they love you.
   
3. Cats are sneaky, mean, and vengeful. Dogs are kind, loving, and forgiving.
4. Although cats' motives are always evil, a cat's specific evil goal of his or her evil act is unclear. Ask yourself, "Is this cat's act part of a larger plan to destroy me or is it an individual act of hatred?" Alternatively, everything a dog does is transparent. You always know why a dog does something, and it is always to make you happy.
5. Cats are out to destroy you. They are always watching you and plotting. Always. If you ever see a cat casually watching you, know that you aren't being "casually" watched, but instead intensely observed. Dogs watch you because simply seeing you makes them happy.
   
6. Cats are scary. Dogs are not.
7. Cats can be elusive, dogs cannot.
8. Dogs do funny things. They are like comedians that follow you around all day for free, telling hilarious, G-rated humor. Cats, on the other hand, have funny things happen to them, and are more like that friend in your high school social group who everyone laughed at, but then when you got older you started to feel bad for him for all the bad things that happened to him. Cats are that guy.
   
9. Cats have very sharp claws, abrasive tongues, and stupid faces.

Although there are hundreds of more reasons why dogs are better than cats, I think these are the 9 most important and easiest-to-grasp reasons.


Lastly, look at this disgusting-looking cat and the cute, little dog (a papillion).


Now, unless you are completely irrational, you should be convinced that dogs are better than cats. If, when it comes to decision making, you tend to make your decision based on intellectual and logical arguments, then the 9 reasons should have appealed to you and swayed you in the direction of dog-loving and cat-despising. If you tend to base your decisions on emotions, then the above two photographs should have appealed to you. In addition to displaying the vastly disparate levels of beauty of these two animals, the pictures also reflect the levels of integrity, personality, and love that the respective soul of the average dog and cat have reached.


Please remember this old (or new, rather, because I coined it) adage: Dogs build, cats destroy.

Eggs are edible. Edible things are fantastic. Ergo, eggs are fantastic.

I like to eat eggs. They are very healthy despite their bad cholesterol-related rap. The newest... news is that eggs are good for you. That being said, eating eggs the same way (over-easy, scrambled, hard-boiled, etc...) can get boring, quickly. So, I decided to do some research on the many different methods of cooking eggs and share some of my findings with my millions (billions?) of readers.


Over-easy



Over-hard (my favorite)



Steam-basted (No picture, sorry)

The Omelet



Hard-boiled/cooked

Soft-cooked



Poached

Baked

Sweet




I love eggs.

I love English accents. I wish I had one... although then I wouldn't be able to appreciate its beauty and would probably wish I had a different one. Anyway, I guess there are a few different versions; there's the Cockney accent and the Kentish/London/Queens English accent. My favorite is the latter and that is the one of which this post is about.

That accent reminds of classiness, dignity, sophistication, and perfection. Why does it remind of this? Because. Is my love-affair with this English accent rational? Nope. Do I still wish I spoke with one? Absolutely.



I practice my English accent at least once a week, and the week that I spent in England a few years ago was like a dream. It was like I was floating on clouds of beautiful accents. That being said, I would love to live in England... perhaps study in Cambridge. The University of Cambridge is the most beautiful school I've ever seen (see above and below). There's so much history and tradition there since it's been around for almost 800 years. It was founded in 1209. 1209! That's unbelievable.



Back to English accents... if you're a Jewish, modern orthodox girl, and have an English accent, then e-mail me and we'll get married. Okay?

I hope that in heaven, along with a massive supply of kosher bacon, everyone has English accents.

Tuesday was a sad day, indeed. Estelle Getty, who played Sophia on The Golden Girls, passed away at 84. The Golden Girls was, and will always be, one of the greatest shows of all-time, and in no small part thanks to Estelle Getty.

Man, she was a funny lady.

Sooooooo. Time travel? Possible? Maybe. According to Stephen Hawking, in his book A Brief History of Time and the introduction he wrote to Physics of Star Trek, "time traveling may be within out capabilities" and "its possibility remains open" because any sort of space travel that requires faster-than-light speed automatically means that you would be going back in time.

The picture above and to the left is a classic piece of cinematic Americana. The first reader to correctly identify it will win $1,000.*


This following text I copied right out of The Bible Code (194):

"The collision of comet Shoemaker-Levy with Jupiter starting on July 16, 1994, was observed by astronomers around the world, and reported in the international media. The details reported are from a series of stories in the New York Times, and the May 23, 1994, issue of Time magazine."

Amazing...

My only question is, how could the astronomers have seen the collision before it occurred if light is required to see everything, especially at such a distance. I understand the comet was traveling fast enough to travel backward in time, but how could the collision be seen before the light and explosion from it reached the astronomers' telescopes? Wouldn't it have taken the speed of light? Unless the comet was traveling so fast that the impact and its consequent explosion of light occurred so far in the past that even only traveling at the speed of light, the light from the collision was still able to reach the telescopes before the impact had actually occurred. I think that's what happened.

Woah. That got the old brain working a little bit. I'm glad I figured that out. It's been bothering me for a couple days.

P.S. I haven't read Stephen Hawking's books, but I did read a book called The Bible Code, which is where I learned this information.

*To be given out in installments of $0, 0 times, never... or always, whatever the winner prefers.

On Sunday, for some reason, I agreed to see Mamma Mia with many of the female members in my family. Why did I see it? I do not know. Do I like musicals? No. Do I like chick flicks? Not particularly. Do I like movies where the actors dance? No.

The plot of the movie wasn't too bad, and the three main male characters are pretty cool guys, but otherwise... not a cool movie.

I realized almost immediately after the movie began that I disliked it, but not until about an hour into the movie did I realize the extent to which the movie annoyed me. At that point, I realized that throughout the whole movie I'd been thinking to myself, "This movie would be so much better if all the characters were vampires and if there weren't any singing or dancing." I'm unsure why I subconsciously chose vampires over some other group of villains like zombies or even just a simple plot change, but once I brought that thought to my conscious mind, I realized that I was totally right. Had all the characters been vampires and somehow lots of blood had been involved, Mamma Mia would have been an awesome movie.

They should not only change the movie to reflect my ideas, but also the Broadway version itself. I would probably go see it in New York if they adopt my ideas. Maybe I'll write a letter to the producer.

oy vehismia.

I think I should let everyone know one reason why I like each one of the 50 states. However, after writing reasons for the first alphabetical 12, I realized that to spend time writing reasons for all 50 is too time consuming, and I want to go to sleep. So, enjoy my reasons to like 24% of the states.

Some states I absolutely hate, like Maine and Connecticut, and some states I really dislike, like Washington, Oregon, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Michigan, and almost every other state except Massachusetts and California, but there fun things about each state, nonetheless.

So, here it goes:

• Alabama: I've always wanted to visit there. I want to see a family dancing on their front porch of their shack, wearing only overalls and straw hats while papa plays the banjo in a rocking chair with dog lying down by his side. That is one of my dreams, to witness, in person, that familial and crazy scene.
  

• Alaska: Its capital is a cool name, "Juno," Plus, most important, I'd like to sleep in an igloo.
  

• Arizona: If ever a desert is cool, it is the deserts of AZ. A few years ago, I was really bored and I went on Craigslist.com and almost purchased a few acres of land in the desert for $300. Why? I do not know. I imagined myself sleeping in a tent in the middle of my own piece of a desert. I'm glad I didn't follow through with the purchase, because it was totally insane.
  

• Arkansas: Its capital has the word "little" in it. Otherwise, not such a special state. I've no desire to visit there.
  

• California: San Diego has beautifully perfect weather, and I lived there for a little while. I would wake up every single morning and smile, seriously, because it was always sunny, 73 degrees, and there wasn't any humidity. Humidity is why I could never live in the South... I cannot stand it. That is why I loath and will never live in Florida. Sadly, I think weather is the most important factor in the quality of my life. One day I'll outgrow my weather dependence and become weather-independent. One day...
  

• Colorado: Aspen looks incredible and I would love to go there, despite my hatred for skiing... I cannot stop moving when I ski, so I'm admittedly a little scared to start moving. I once mistakenly skied down an advanced slop instead of a beginner one. Needless to say, it did not end well, especially since, as I mentioned, I lack the ability to stop. After skiing down part of the slope at 195 miles per hour, I flipped in the air somehow, and when I finally landed, my skis, poles, hat, and sunglasses all flew off and landed all around me. My life flashed before my eyes, too... but since I was really young, not much needed to flash, so it wasn't too traumatizing. So, really what I want to do in Aspen is spend a weekend in a log cabin, relax on a couch in front of a fire while drinking hot cocoa and wearing a sweater, and watch other people ski.
  

• Connecticut: The only redeeming quality of this state is that a few of my closest friends are from there. Otherwise, I despise Connecticut. I even created a Facebook group devoted to my hatred for this state. There is nothing to do there, and the only reason people go there is to drive through there to get to New York or Massachusetts I wish there were some way to remove it from the United States. Like in the game Tetris when you get rid of a line, everything above that line moves one level downward. We should do the same to Connecticut. Just get rid of it and shift Massachusetts downward and then push Rhode Island out to sea. Rhode Island has the word "Island" in its title anyway, so the state might as well live up to its name. Life would be much easier for everyone in the Northeast with this new setup.
  

• Delaware: I forgot this state existed. Sorry.
  

• Florida: Oh man, I hate Florida. Besides visiting my Grandmother in Boca Raton, the forthcoming Harry Potter Amusement Park, the big Jewish Community in Miami and a good kosher restaurant where I once ate, the Miami Boys Choir, Florida is to be totally avoided.
  

• Georgia: Sweet Georgia Brown is a great song. Plus, I bet Atlanta is cool. More importantly, Ted Turner, who essentially owns and runs Atlanta, is completely insane. He believes, and publicly stated, that in a few years humans will resort to cannibalism because of food shortages.
  

• Hawaii: Absolutely beautiful... from the pictures I've seen. My cousin just moved there. Also, before I transferred schools, I seriously considered applying to the University of Hawaii, Manoa. Why, you ask? I have no idea.
  

• Idaho: Potatoes are fantastic. I've just discovered how awesome sweet potatoes are, so my life has just improved immensely. Just toss one in the microwave for a few minutes and you've got yourself a fun and healthful side dish. Plus, sweet potatoes are orange, my favorite color.
  

So? I will stop at state number twelve, Idaho.

See? States are good.

Butterflies are awesome. How can anyone not like them? They are colorful, soft, harmless, and oh so pretty.

Butterflies don't bother anyone, and I would bet that out of all insects, they are probably the happiest and least evil (in fact, the most innocent). I would also bet that if they could talk, they would make wonderful pets (because sometimes pets are just better if they have the ability to talk).


Yes, I am secure enough in my manhood to admit to an affinity for butterflies.


Here is a poem I just wrote about butterflies:

Butterflies.
They gently flutter along waves of air,
delighting all who dare to stare.

- by Me, © ARK and The Greatest Site Ever 2008


Thank you.

I love freeze pops. They are amazing. I eat them like you should eat Pringles (once you pop, you just can't stop). I am not kidding. I ate six of them in a row last night, and the only reason I ate just one after I got back from work was because the box is nearly empty. At the X-Mas Tree Shoppes you can buy a box for a dollar, so next time I go, I'll buy 20 or so boxes (I am still not kidding).

A few weeks ago, I tried to make my own popsicle, but it didn't work out so well... it was a creative attempt, though, since I used grape juice and milk. You could even call it a "Grapesi-cream-sicle." I froze it in a little plastic cup with a spoon in it... it was actually painful to hold and too thick to be edible, but the outer layers of sweetness infused [at least part of] my grapesi-cream-sicle with enough goodness to withstand the agony of using the handle. The moral of my story? I need to buy a popsicle maker.

Tiny homes are awesome! This man, Jay Shafer lives a 96-square foot home that he built, and loves it! When I have to move, I think I'll hire this guy to build me a house, which is what Tumbleweed, his company, does... and it's so inexpensive! Check out the news video from the Seattle news website.

It's good to have less. More stuff = more stress. When you own more things, you've got to worry more about what you own, pay more for upkeep, keep everything updated, clean more, and generally, live a more complicated life. So, the answer? Live like a Buddhist monk in a hut without any belongings, limiting yourself to a mat and a stick. OR, live in a tiny house where you are forced to be organized and have room for only necessities. Ahh, a nice, simple life. Perfect. I would love to do that. Besides the obvious necessities, like a bed and a refrigerator, all I would need is:

• My computer
• Books/My Library Card
  
• Torah, Tefillin, and such
  
• 
• My Reusable Water Bottle
• An Air Conditioner
• A Whiteboard
• Two Bic Pens (I like the clicking type) - a blue one and a black one
• A Little Pad of Paper
• My Cell Phone
• My Financial Organizer Folder
• My Tennis Racket
• My Baseball Glove
• A Hat or Two
• A Mini File Cabinet
• My Harry Potter Wand/Flashlight (Dual purpose, how can I go wrong?)
  

I think that's about it. That's all I need. I bet I could happily live in a tiny house. Maybe I'll buy one and stick it in my apartment to test it out. I've always enjoyed tent-dwelling, and that's somewhat the same type of thing. Maybe I should just live in a tent.

That latter part of this entry, after proofreading it, reminded of the The Jerk with Steve Martin. I hope you all saw that movie because it's fantastic.

The Jetsons is one of the greatest television cartoons ever. So why isn't it on TV? Granted, I only have very basic cable in my apartment (I receive about 20 channels with about 95% of them in Spanish), so I wouldn't expect to be able to watch The Jetsons, but when I was ill and out of work for a while and staying at my parent's house, the show was still never on. Not even on the classic cartoon channels. Upsetting.
I haven't looked on Hulu.com or anywhere on the internet for it, but I'll give it a shot later.

I often find myself daydreaming about how much fun a Jetson life would be, despite not watching the show in about ten years. That long-lasting love for the show is testament to its quality, and until society actually reaches the technological level of the Jetson world, the show will remain a beautiful dream... and when we finally reach that level of technology, the show will be realized as a one that foretold the future. Ingenius.

I am not a procrastinator. I used to be, but no longer. During my last two years in college, I ensured almost all my schoolwork was done two weeks ahead of due dates. If I needed to go grocery shopping, I would go immediately. If I needed or was expected to make a phone call, meet someone somewhere, go to class, or anything, I was early or on-time, depending on the situation. I worked hard to destroy my procrastination inclination, and it's pretty much gone. However, no mater how hard I try, it now takes me FOREVER to listen to my cellphone voicemail [and recently, to return calls]. I do not know why, and I do not like it. So, beginning RIGHT NOW, if you call me and leave a voicemail, your message will be listened to and your call will be returned as soon as possible. That is my pledge to my callers, unless you are a stalker, in which case, I probably wont call you back right away, but in a few days.

If you rent the worst 100 movies of all-time, then watch the worst 50 scenes from each one, then light your hair on fire, it wouldn't compare to how bad you feel after you watch the movie 10,000 BC.

Man, that movie was awful. Good thing my friends have a furry and exciting cat that I was able to play with the whole time or else I would have cried from the boredom and physical pain the movie caused.

There are no redeeming qualities in the movie, save the director tossing in a Sabertooth Tiger. Well, that's not actually a redeeming quality, I just happen to think Sabertooth Tigers are the greatest animals of all-time.




I watched this movie last night, and it was so bad that I still have an urge to light myself on fire just so I can forget how awful it was. I should have checked the reviews on RottenTomatoes.com, where the movie received a 9% from critics and a 31% from members. That's the last time I let that friend make the final decision on a movie without me doing research on it first.

Oy.

I'm gonna go buy a lighter.

Smells: They are awesomely nostalgic. I would say they are more nostalgic than anything else, that's a fact. Actually, it is.

So, there are some smells that are so awesome that I search them out wherever I am. They have the ability to stop me in my tracks and force me to appreciate both my sense of smell and the smell itself. You wouldn't think smells could be so powerful, but they are... yes, they are.


So, my favorite smells include some that are nostalgic and some that are just plain awesome. Here's the list.

• Laundromats (my all-time favorite smell)
• Bleach in Pools (my second all-time favorite smell)
  
• Old books
• Buttered Popcorn
• Vanilla
• Jordon by Michael Cologne (I bought it sophomore year in high school and it's still awesome)
• Cinnamon Spices at Havdalah

Man, smells are fun.

I enjoy free speech, don't you?

Iran: Death Penalty for 'Online Crimes'

"In accordance with the new law, bloggers and website editors can be sentenced to death for crimes such as promoting corruption, prostitution and apostasy..."

Also, the article (from the Jerusalem Post) states that Ahmadinejad even has his own blog. It's probably like an Arabic version of Mein Kampf, but with Google ads, a link to Ahmadinejad's Facebook profile, and a list of his favorite hilarious YouTube videos.

Once a friend of mine from England said to me, after walking through the campus center at school at UMass Amherst where she was studying abroad, that she was amazed by how much free speech we had. She saw the pro-abortion groups and some other really liberal groups there are at UMass, and how they were all shouting for their causes, and freely doing so, and everyone just accepted others' ability to speak openly. I'd just assumed it was the same way in England. She said, obviously, that there is free speech in England, but just not at exactly the same level.

The first amendment is fun.

I am going to this park in Florida as soon as I can after it opens in 2009. Man, this place is so exciting. I saw a few more designs and the park looks unbelievable.

As much as I despise Florida, I will suck it up for the sake of Harry Potter.

Grand.




If I could only be a Harry Potter character in real life... maybe I should apply at the amusement park as a character! Ah, yes!

The other day I raved about how awesome Joost is. Nope, I was wrong. It turns out that you can't watch too many tv shows, and all I ended up watching was Family Ties, which is a fantastic show, by the way. You can't beat Michael J. Fox. Anyway, Joost crashed a lot, and every single time I closed it an error message would pop up. So yesterday, I discovered Hulu.com. I didn't have to download a program for it like I did for Joost, and there are SO many more shows, including Family Ties! It's also much cleaner looking and easier to use than Joost.



It's so much better to watch TV on your computer (on Hulu, not Joost) than on your television set. Reasons? You never just watch "what's on." You are more active in your TV-watching decisions... well, as active as you can be watching TV. I read articles, write this blog, and do pretty productive tasks while watching computer TV. ALSO, there are no trashy advertisements for 1-800-RED-HOT or those other late-night phone call companies. Also, there are no commercials or advertisements for other TV shows with half-naked women (there are on Joost, not on Hulu), which is great, because that business is not so holy and horribly objectifies women. You also wont happen to watch a TV show with awful values, since you are choosing all the shows. Sticking to shows that promote good values is easier online, not that anyone is actually able to stick only to shows like Family Ties and The Cosby Show, but still definitely easier. (I wouldn't consider The Simpsons and Family Guy full of good values, but I watch them anyway).

Lastly, commercials are about 45 seconds, in total, for each show on Hulu. Relative to the 7 and a half minutes of commercials on regular TV, you save yourself a ton of time.

Second lastly, it's free!

Third lastly, they've even got movies.

And, you can watch shows in HD on your computer.

I also think it's legal.

I could probably go on forever, but next week I'll probably find a better program and rave about that. So, I'll stop here.

I took a picture of this sign in a Garden in Aswan (I think), Egypt, a few years ago, while I was backpacking through the country with some friends. We had, and still have, no idea what the sign meant. I can venture a guess from the weird blue man, but the Arabic still eludes me.


It's the best sign ever.

I think it's important to make a list of great words. Sometimes you just need a good word. You never know when one of these words will pop into your mind and then the perfect opportunity to use it will present itself. Most of these words will be insults, so you should be able to use them often. You may even know some of them, so this post will be a refresher. Here's the list, including many of my favorites:

• Flibbertigibbet: a chattering or flighty, light-headed person; a scatterbrain.
  
• Monomania: an inordinate or obsessive zeal for or interest in a single thing, idea, subject, or the like.
• Jumentous: smelling strongly like a beast of burden.
• Jobbernowl: a stupid person; a blockhead.
  
• Fop: a man who is excessively vain and concerned about his dress, appearance, and manners.
• Milktoast: easily dominated; extremely mild; a pansy.
• Bloviate: to speak pompously; to discourse at length in a pompous or boastful manner.
• Droll: amusing in an odd way; whimsically humorous.
• Vivify: to give life to; to enliven; brighten; sharpen.
• Vilify: to speak ill of; defame; slander.
• Draconian: rigorous; unusually severe or cruel; exceedingly harsh; very severe.
• Jejune: without interest or significance; dull; insipid; juvenile; immature; lacking knowledge or experience; uninformed;
  
• Hoopla: bustling excitement or activity; commotion; hullabaloo.

I've got tons of more words, but I think this list is enough for now. Too many awesome words in one sitting is eyepoppingly crazy. ("Eyepoppingly" isn't a real word, but "eyepopping" is, and is one of the greatest words of all time, especially when you imagine someone's eyes actually popping because they saw something so incredible).



eyepopping.

It has taken me a few tries, but I am nearly a professional pancake maker.

At first, my pancakes were 2 inches thick, burned on both sides, and not cooked at all in the middle. Now, my pancakes are perfectly round and thin, beautifully browned, and thoroughly cooked. So, I am a pancake magician.

Unprofessionally, I have to admit, I use a mix, but I do add eggs for extra protein. One day, perhaps, my cooking skills will evolve to where I can actually make pancakes from scratch... but let's take it one day at a time. Anyway, I use Aunt Jemima mix. It's easy, and I hate to cook. I used to be (a month ago) scared of cooking anything on a pan. Oh, how much I've grown. Now I have no fear.

What is even better and possibly more important than pancakes?? The syrup. No question. You could probably use any brand of pancake mix, I just happen to use Aunt Jemima because it kosher, has easy directions, and the price is right - but they probably all taste the same. You cannot, however, use any brand of syrup. Syrup is not only key to awesome-tasting pancakes, but it is crucial to the quality of the remainder of your day after you use the syrup. After each time I use syrup, I think about how awesome it was, and I cannot stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. I've noticed that if I don't use quality syrup, I don't think of the syrup after it's use, which definitely takes away from my day because any day that you constantly think about syrup is a good day. Syrup is definitely a day-elevator. (That sounded better in my head). Here it is, Aunt Jemima Butter Lite Syrup:


The morals that should be taken from this post? 1. Pancake-making is easy, and you can be an expert in no time. 2. Syrup is more important than you, or I, could ever understand. EVER.

I've come up with a nine more names for a dog that I will one day buy. Here they are:

• Mango
• Lobster
  
• Purple
• Shekel
• Adam
• Arieh
• Mouse
• Bacon
  
• Satan

It'll be a long while, years perhaps, before I actually get a dog, but before I do, I'll post a poll on my blog and let everyone vote on which name to give the dog.

When I do get a dog, though, I will train it go to the bathroom in a kitty litter box type thing that I'll place in the bathroom. Also, I'll train the dog to never bark. I'll also make sure it never sheds. It will be the perfect dog.

Back to the names... those names, and the ones from the previous list are awesome. Maybe I'll have to get a bunch of dogs so I can use all my favorite names from the list. OR, maybe I'll become a professional dog namer. OR, maybe someone will let me rename their dog? OR, I'll go over the MSPCA and ask them if they'll let me go on a naming spree and name all the dogs they've saved.

Naming spree time!

Well, this possibility is fantastic:

Scientists to test if cancer cure can work in humans

All mice treated with this treatment were 100% cured from cancer.

I don't think I need to elaborate. Read the article! It's short!

Before my days of keeping kosher and after my days at the Jewish Day School (so during my high school and early college years) I fell in love with bacon. Although I haven't eaten bacon since January of 2005 - I remember that meal because I said to myself, "I'm about to go to Yeshiva in Israel and will probably decide to never eat bacon again, so I might as well load up now for the last time," at which point at I ate a HUGE plateful of bacon - I still crave it every single day. I walk by restaurants that serve bacon, read bacon-related articles online, and browse bacon-inspired products on Ebay. For some reason (because bacon is so awesome), there is never a shortage of articles and products raving about the awesomeness of bacon.

Here's the latest article that I found about bacon. It's about bacon-scented and bacon-patterned formalwear.


Here's a product that I found a few years ago on Ebay that I saved on my computer:


I could go on and on and on about bacon, but writing this post about something I miss so dearly is pure torture, especially at such an auspicious time (breakfast time) of the day. Actually, all times of the day and night are perfect for bacon because bacon can make any part of your day better.

These bacon cravings have lasted years. I don't think they'll ever go away. So this problem (addiction?) is something I'll have to learn to live with. Blarg. Although it's tough, I've remained steadfast in my self-denial of bacon because I know it's right.

Man, bacon is the best food ever. It has a salty, sweet, beautiful, lingering taste unlike any other food, and is so good that I want to cry just thinking about how amazing it tastes. Maybe in heaven bacon is kosher. I will pray for that.

I was just browsing free downloads from mozilla because their products are unbelievably useful and awesome in every way. I found one program called "Joost." On it, there are tons of channels, like the Discovery Channel and Comedy Central, and tons of TV shows like How I Met Your Mother and Ren and Stimpy, which I actually can't because it's too disgusting. I'm assuming joost is legal for various [and possibly very logical] reasons. Also, the interface is fun, but took me a second to get used to. Here are some cool screenshots.


Joost is impressive. Check it out. You'll never need a TV again!