I think I should let everyone know one reason why I like each one of the 50 states. However, after writing reasons for the first alphabetical 12, I realized that to spend time writing reasons for all 50 is too time consuming, and I want to go to sleep. So, enjoy my reasons to like 24% of the states.
Some states I absolutely hate, like Maine and Connecticut, and some states I really dislike, like Washington, Oregon, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Michigan, and almost every other state except Massachusetts and California, but there fun things about each state, nonetheless.
So, here it goes:
- Alabama: I've always wanted to visit there. I want to see a family dancing on their front porch of their shack, wearing only overalls and straw hats while papa plays the banjo in a rocking chair with dog lying down by his side. That is one of my dreams, to witness, in person, that familial and crazy scene.
- Alaska: Its capital is a cool name, "Juno," Plus, most important, I'd like to sleep in an igloo.
- Arizona: If ever a desert is cool, it is the deserts of AZ. A few years ago, I was really bored and I went on Craigslist.com and almost purchased a few acres of land in the desert for $300. Why? I do not know. I imagined myself sleeping in a tent in the middle of my own piece of a desert. I'm glad I didn't follow through with the purchase, because it was totally insane.
- Arkansas: Its capital has the word "little" in it. Otherwise, not such a special state. I've no desire to visit there.
- California: San Diego has beautifully perfect weather, and I lived there for a little while. I would wake up every single morning and smile, seriously, because it was always sunny, 73 degrees, and there wasn't any humidity. Humidity is why I could never live in the South... I cannot stand it. That is why I loath and will never live in Florida. Sadly, I think weather is the most important factor in the quality of my life. One day I'll outgrow my weather dependence and become weather-independent. One day...
- Colorado: Aspen looks incredible and I would love to go there, despite my hatred for skiing... I cannot stop moving when I ski, so I'm admittedly a little scared to start moving. I once mistakenly skied down an advanced slop instead of a beginner one. Needless to say, it did not end well, especially since, as I mentioned, I lack the ability to stop. After skiing down part of the slope at 195 miles per hour, I flipped in the air somehow, and when I finally landed, my skis, poles, hat, and sunglasses all flew off and landed all around me. My life flashed before my eyes, too... but since I was really young, not much needed to flash, so it wasn't too traumatizing. So, really what I want to do in Aspen is spend a weekend in a log cabin, relax on a couch in front of a fire while drinking hot cocoa and wearing a sweater, and watch other people ski.
- Connecticut: The only redeeming quality of this state is that a few of my closest friends are from there. Otherwise, I despise Connecticut. I even created a Facebook group devoted to my hatred for this state. There is nothing to do there, and the only reason people go there is to drive through there to get to New York or Massachusetts I wish there were some way to remove it from the United States. Like in the game Tetris when you get rid of a line, everything above that line moves one level downward. We should do the same to Connecticut. Just get rid of it and shift Massachusetts downward and then push Rhode Island out to sea. Rhode Island has the word "Island" in its title anyway, so the state might as well live up to its name. Life would be much easier for everyone in the Northeast with this new setup.
- Delaware: I forgot this state existed. Sorry.
- Florida: Oh man, I hate Florida. Besides visiting my Grandmother in Boca Raton, the forthcoming Harry Potter Amusement Park, the big Jewish Community in Miami and a good kosher restaurant where I once ate, the Miami Boys Choir, Florida is to be totally avoided.
- Georgia: Sweet Georgia Brown is a great song. Plus, I bet Atlanta is cool. More importantly, Ted Turner, who essentially owns and runs Atlanta, is completely insane. He believes, and publicly stated, that in a few years humans will resort to cannibalism because of food shortages.
- Hawaii: Absolutely beautiful... from the pictures I've seen. My cousin just moved there. Also, before I transferred schools, I seriously considered applying to the University of Hawaii, Manoa. Why, you ask? I have no idea.
- Idaho: Potatoes are fantastic. I've just discovered how awesome sweet potatoes are, so my life has just improved immensely. Just toss one in the microwave for a few minutes and you've got yourself a fun and healthful side dish. Plus, sweet potatoes are orange, my favorite color.
See? States are good.
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