The school I attended from first through eighth grade, South Area Solomon Schechter Day School (SASSDS), was amazing.  I loved it.  My friends were great; my classes were great; my teachers were great; everything was great.

   My sister and two brothers also attended that school, and recently, while cleaning out a cabinet in the dining room of our house, my youngest brother discovered a Chanukia that he created several years ago there.  It’s a nostalgic piece of Schectorobilia.  Take a look:

Very nice.  Very damaged.  Very clearly done by a child who couldn’t stay within the lines.

    There is one serious problem with this Chanukia… Can you spot it?

(by the way, the difference between a Menorah and Chanukia is that…

• a regular Menorah holds seven candles and is a powerful symbol of Judaism.
• a Chanukia (or Chanukah Menorah) holds eight candles plus the Shamash (for a total of nine candles), and is lit on Chanukah.  Each candle (not including the Shamash), represents one day of the eight-day long miracle of Chanukah.  This miracle occurred in the Temple in Jerusalem during the time of Judah the Maccabee.  After the Romans desecrated the Temple, there was enough oil to last only one day, and miraculously, that one-day’s worth of oil lasted a full eight days!

…that is the difference between a Chanukia and a Menorah)

   Back to the problem… were you able to see it? 

  Okay, here is the issue:  It’s made of wood!  How often do you see items that hold fire and candles made of wood?  NEVER.  Why not?  Because it’ll inevitably catch fire or at least burn itself.  So, to the teacher at Schechter that had my brother make a wooden Menorah: “That was a crazy move.  You are crazy.”

   As evidenced by the picture, someone in my family lit this piece of Chanukah insanity and the Shamash holder inevitably burned.  Since the first two days’ holders are missing and the third day’s isn’t burnt at all, we can deduce that whomever lit this Chanukia learned his or her lesson pretty quickly, on the first or second day.  We are lucky the house didn’t burn down.  That would not have been good. 

So, the morals of this post?

• The difference between a regular Menorah and a Chanukia is important.
• Do not start a fire on or in a wooden object.
• Do not build a fire-holder out of wood.

Yup.  My brain is humongous. 

   I had a brain MRI a few months ago at the hospital.  (Everything was fine).  It was pretty boring.  I had to lay in a big doughnut-shaped machine for about forty-five minutes or an hour without moving at all.  I thought it wasn’t humanly possible to not move for so long, but it turned out I was able to lay still the entire time.  So, it can be done.  It is possible.

   ANYWAY, I had a chest x-ray last week (everything was also fine), and after it, I went and picked up copies of them, along with copies of my brain x-rays.  Also, I requested a CD to be mailed to me with all the x-rays on it, and it arrived a couple of days ago.  It’s amazing.  Here’s one of my favorites:

   There was some text  covering up the outer border of the image, so i removed it… so that’s why it looks weird in some places (especially the top of my skull near the date).  

   Why is this x-ray one of my favorites?  Because it shows nearly everything, except my nose.  I finally have proof that I have eyes, teeth, and a brain.  Also, I didn’t realize how big my eyeballs are.  They are massive.  Nor did I realize how much of the space of my skull that my brain actually took.

   So, the morals of this story?

• Lying still in any machine for 45 minutes is totally worth it if it results in an x-ray of your brain.
• My brain and eyeballs are awesomely huge.

   According to a Swedish news website called The Local, at a bank in Denmark, a women successfully exchanged Monopoly money for actual Danish currency.  She gave the teller two Monopoly bills and received the equivalent of $240.  Awesome.

   I’m sure that everyone has thought of attempting this feat.  I know I have… many times.  In high school, I actually used to carry a few Monopoly dollars in my wallet, just in case.  I mean, you never know if a store will accept a $500 Monopoly bill instead of a $1 US currency bill.  That’s an extra $499 in profit the store could make.  So, it would be crazy for store to accept US currency instead of Monopoly money.  Absolutely crazy.

   Anyway, back to the article, the next day, the 61-year old lady attempted to pull off the scam a second time.  This time, she was arrested.  Ha.  Dumb move.  Everyone knows that you scam each bank only once.  Bank get wise, quickly.  Especially at the end of the day when the bank manager inevitably realizes that there’s Monopoly money in one of the registers. 

   I think it’s time to go fill my wallet with Monopoly money.  Which versions look the most real?  I’ve got the regular edition, the Corvette edition, the Millennium edition, and the Junior edition.  I guess I’ll try them all.  So, look for a subsequent update about the effectiveness of the different versions of Monopoly money, or an actual picture of me in prison for getting arrested for fraud.  Either way, it should be a great post.

 

  Here’s a link to the original article: Woman exchanges Monopoly Money for Danish Kroner.

     First off, by reading my personal finance posts, you’ll become a millionaire.  Yup, a millionaire.   “How can simply reading your blog make me a millionaire?” you are definitely asking right now.  The answer?  It can.

   Over the past year, I’ve become increasingly interested in personal finance.  I’ve read dozens of personal finance books, read hundreds of posts on personal finance blogs, gotten advice and shared lessons with others, researched nearly every aspect of personal finance, and even wrote a twenty-one chapter outline of a personal finance book – all because I’ve realized the importance of money; not of money itself, but what it takes to earn that money. 

   When you frivolously spend, you are actually frivolously spending (or wasting) your time; i.e. your life.  When you spend $30 on a new book at Barnes and Noble instead of $5 for that same book on Amazon, you just spent $25 of your time/life frivolously.  If you make $10 an hour at your job, you just spent 2 1/2 hours at work (to earn $25)  because you wanted the instant gratification of buying the book at Barnes and Noble, instead of spending 30 minutes at work (to earn $5) to buy that book on Amazon.

    If you spend $5 on the book rather than $30, you could spend those extra 2 1/2 hours that you saved doing… anything you want!  You could even spend that time not working because you now don’t need that extra $25 for the book!  Imagine that!  If you spend conscientiously, you will actually get to work less!  This lesson applies to every single area of spending.

   The old adage, “Time is Money,” is certainly true.

   I’ve practiced everything that I preach, and all of it has worked.  Now, it’s all second nature to me, but it wasn’t always that way.  It’s taken me a long time, tons of discipline, and lots of focus to institute these practices into my daily life, but it has been totally worth it.

   Spending money wisely relieves an unbelievable amount of stress.  For example, imagine not having any credit card debt.  Imagine paying off the balance each month and never paying interest!  You could finally put that money to something more useful and fulfilling than interest on your credit card balance.

   As some of my readers know, I have been working on and off since September of 2007 due to illness.  I’ve worked for only about 4-5 months since then.  Still, I have been able to easily cover my monthly expenses because I’ve taken advantage of most every money-saving and wise-spending opportunity presented to me.  Admittedly, many of the opportunities presented to me were done so by family members, so I’ve been very lucky.  However, I still had to implement and rigorously follow my methods with even more money than I’d have otherwise if it weren’t for my family.   It’s been proven that the more money one earns, the more he or she will go into debt, so I knew I had to be even more disciplined.  In the end, staying disciplined has drastically reduced my stress levels and has saved me much energy that instead of devoting to stress, I can devote to my health. 

   Everyone can save.  I will teach you many of my methods and mindsets necessary to become financially worry-free in a series of topical personal finance lessons, for you, my billions of loyal readers.   So, keep an eye open for these posts!  Better yet, subscribe to my RSS feed to have the posts delivered directly to your email account!

   Finally, the two lessons from this first personal finance post:

• Time is Money.  Simple.
• Simply by reading my blog you’ll undoubtedly become a millionaire.  Very quickly. (by quickly, I mean slowly).

Disclaimer: Since posting this, I have learned that Slurpees in only particular cities are kosher.  Please consult your local orthodox rabbi for information about Slurpees in your area.

   Since I started keeping kosher, I have given up many of my favorite foods.   A few of those foods are inherently non-kosher, so I don’t expect to ever eat them again.   However, some of them are processed foods that could actually be kosher.   Finding them in kosher form is difficult, to say the least.
   Doritos and 7-11 Slurpees are two of the best foods ever created.   It turns out that finding kosher Slurpees was as simple as googling, “Are Slurpees Kosher?”  What popped up after I clicked the ‘search’ button was a Godsend, literally.   The website of the Chicago Rabbinical Counsel, a reputable, valid, and accepted organization in regards to kashrut, lists the Slurpees that they certify as kosher.  AWESOME.  Click the word '’AWESOME’ for the CRC’s website and the list.
   The day that I discovered that many Slurpee flavors are kosher was a glorious day.   I had been unconsciously craving Slurpees for years, but that day the craving finally surfaced, and I was rewarded beyond all measure for my Slurpee-related emotional breakthrough.  A subsequent [and immediate] outing to a nearby 7-11 and a purchase of the largest size Slurpee available (44 oz)  ensured that.  It was everything that I had dreamed.
   That reward, even though it was ‘beyond all measure,’ pales in comparison to my recent discovery of kosher Doritos.   I have been consciously craving Doritos since the day I began keeping kosher around four years ago.   A few times, while in Israel, I was able to find the nacho cheese-flavored Doritos, but with the bags being tiny and me being horribly sick the past two times I was in Israel, food was the last thought on my mind.
   After years of unsuccessfully searching for a brand of kosher Doritos in the United States, I had finally and completely given up.   However, on an adventure in a Target a few weeks ago with my mother and brother, I noticed a big bag of nacho-flavored tortilla chips.   Jokingly, I picked up the bag and looked for a kosher certification.   Lo and behold, I found one!  And a valid one at that!   Those chips had a Kof-K! Beautiful!  They are also Target’s own brand, so they are inexpensive, too!  They taste exactly like real Doritos, too!  What more can a hungry Jew ask for?? Nothing.  Nothing at all.
   Since I’ve found two products in kosher form that I thought I’d never find, that gives me hope that I may, one day, discover a few more kosher products that I had given up on.  Here’s the list of hopefuls (at least the ones that I consciously crave):

1. Alfredo Sauce
2. Cereal with Marshmallows
3. um… that’s all I can think of right now.

   So, two perfectly glorious days.  I will always remember those two days as two of the greatest in history. 

Excellent.  Excellent.

I don't know how I found this item... I do know that I wasn't looking for a bloody zombie hand. Somehow I just serendipitously stumbled upon it.
Anyway, it looks so realistic, and is probably the best hand costume that I've ever seen. (It's also the only one that I've ever seen).

Wow. I would just buy this costume and wear it everywhere, all the time. Or, I should buy it and put it on someone while they're sleeping so they wake up to see their mutilated hand. That's a good idea.

Here's a close up of the hand:

I should look for more costumes like this one that are for different parts of the body. To fully cover oneself in these zombie costumes, then walk around in public, would make an awesome day. Doing this in downtown Boston would make for an unforgettable adventure.

I wonder if people would know it's fake if two zombies were walking together - it might seem a little too convenient... I mean, what are the odds that two zombies would run into each other in the middle of downtown Boston? Very small. It might look more realistic if only one person dressed like a zombie and walked around. Perhaps a friend should follow him around with a video camera and record people's reactions.

Maybe I should do that sometime... when the weather warms up. Then I'll post the video here. Fantastic idea.

Zombies are awesome. Zombies always win.

The fortune cookies that you get in Chinese restaurants are never funny. Sometimes the English is written incorrectly. The grammar is always poor. They are always stupid. However, I've found some fortune cookies that I wish I'd gotten because they are actually funny. Hopefully they are true, because that would be even funnier. Enjoy:








Fun stuff.

A few months ago, I was having a lactose intolerance test at the hospital. They have you drink a fruit-flavored lactose-filled drink, then they test your breath every thirty minutes. So, you've got to wait in the waiting room for about 3-4 hours to complete the test. Anyway, while I was in that waiting room reading a book about a boy and his dragon, a lady walked out from the testing room area and began having an insanely loud conversation with the older lady sitting across from me who was also having a test done. Their conversation lasted a couple minutes, and I don't remember what it was about, but I do remember that the lady who walked out of the testing room made a joke about something, and in response, that lady sitting across from me laughed and yelled, "Haha, very apropos." The she walked away. End of story.

After that lady said 'apropos,' I thought to myself, "Wow, that was pretentious. Why would someone use that word in everyday conversation? and yell it? Jebus."

So, a couple of days ago, that little conversation popped into my head. My thoughts regarding it headed in a different direction this time. It went a little like this:

Adam: Hmmm... that lady was pretentious for using the word 'apropos.' She should have just used the word 'relevant' or something.

Adam: Wait a minute... am I pretentious for using the word 'pretentious?'

Adam: Wait another minute, am I pretentious for calling someone else pretentious?

Adam: Umm... am I pretentious for debating whether or not using the word 'pretentious' is pretentious?

Adam: Oy. I may be pretentious.

Adam: Wait another minute, I think that using the word apropos in the context that that lady did was actually appropriate... even quite apropos.

Adam: Yeah, using the word 'apropos' actually sounds better in that context than 'relevant' or any alternative. Ending a statement with 'relevant' doesn't sound as smooth as 'apropos.'

Adam: I guess that lady was right in the first place. Apropos was appropriate.

The lessons to to be learned from this tale?

1. Apropos is a good word.
2. Using the word apropos does not make someone pretentious.
   
3. The whole beginning of my story was entirely not apropos to the point of this post nor the lessons to be learned. Did I do that on purpose? Yes. Why did I do that? So I could have an excuse to use the word 'apropos.'
4. Those two pictures of chickens and frogs have nothing to do, whatsoever, with this post... or do they...
   

In case you don't know what Apropos means, click here for dictionary.com's definition.

   Phew.  Even though the directions seem easy, the below five steps, including a fix-up of my favicon, took me forever.  I am finally done.  Yay.  Well, I am almost done.  I’ve given up making it perfect.  One day, if I’m a millionaire (if I follow my own advice from my financial posts), I’ll pay a genius to perfect my favicon.  So, for now, I’m finished.  Fin. 

 

  

   Anyway, favicons are awesome.   Everyone should have one.  You should also share yours with me.   If you don’t have one, then google: “how to make a favicon,” and a million results will pop up.

 

P.S.  I just learned that "favicon” stands for “favorite icon.”  Awesome.

To use viral-icons, read below.

———Copy and paste the VIRAL-ICONS and instructions below this line———

Instructions:

Important Update - Please read here!

1.) Copy and paste the matrix of “Viral Icons” below courtesy of Ilker Yoldas from The Thinking Blog. (to support Ilker’s quest of launching his own Internet Startup with a student budget, please consider subscribing to the Full RSS Feed and enjoy interesting posts in the meantime. "Knowledge grows when shared!").

2.) Upload your non-animated favicon (GIF image of size 16x16 pixels) to ImageShack, a similar free image hosting server or to your own server provided by your hosting service if you have one.

3.) Substitute the Host Icon and one of the “Viral Icons” in the matrix with your ALT text of choice and your blog’s URL. Maximum of 3 specific keywords for the ALT text are best for it to be effective.

Here is an example:
4.) When you get a ping back from someone that has your icon in one of their “Viral Icons”, practice good karma by copying his/her Host Icon’s code (automatically the associated ALT tag will also be copied) and paste it over one of your “Viral Icons” below.

5.) Invite your readers to do the same and soon this can grow virally.

Host Icon:

VIRAL-ICONS
     

Rules: No Porn Sites, Only 1 icon per person (i.e. don't hog the ViralIcons!), and please don't tamper with other people's ALT tags, URLs or favicons.

Important: Once I get a ping back from you (I promise to do the best I can), I will add your favicon and the associated code you designate as “Host Icon” here, replacing one of the “Viral Icons” from the matrix above. Feel free to drop a comment here with your blog URL, ALT tags and favicon URL (we don't mind if it is the same all over the blogosphere).

Optional: Display the “Viral Icons” badge on your sidebar and promote your blog. As more and more bloggers copy and paste the “Viral Icons” from the matrix above, the more backlinks you will have with your ALT text, and in turn the more promotion your blog with get. The sooner you participate, the more link love you will receive!

———Copy and paste the VIRAL-ICONS and instructions above this line———