Ever heard of a parasite called Toxoplasma gondii?  No?  Well, I’ve learned a bit about it from  Cracked.com and other sites, and it’s almost awesome.  Apparently half of the human race is zombiealready infected with this brain parasite.  It’s a common parasite found in cats that ingeniously finds it’s way into rats.  Sounds normal?  Yes.  BUT, once a rat is willingly infected, since the parasite masquerades around as a “good” parasite and thus is obviously welcomed by the rat, it then begins to take over the rat’s brain.  It leaves the rat completely healthy and normal-looking, but controls the rat’s brain and behavior.

   As tests have essentially proven, these infected rats will kill themselves.  Their behavior changes and they will offer themselves up to cats as a meal like you would offer a silver platter full of juicy beetles to PumbaaHuntsBugTimon and Pumba.  

   So, how does this effect humans?  Tests have proven that there is a strong relationship in humans between schizophrenia and Toxoplasma gondii.  Also, being infected with it changes the personality of humans [turning them into zombies], and pregnant women who are infected tend to give birth to babies with schizophrenia.  Have you ever heard that women, while pregnant, should avoid cat-zombieslitter at all costs?  Well, that’s the reason.  They will give birth to zombies.

   The other day, as a friend pointed out to me, cat-people are insane.  Everyone knows that anyone who owns more than one cat is crazy.  It’s a pretty well-accepted fact.  The more cats a person owns the crazier he or she is.  That, being the subsequent conclusion, is also an obvious fact.   I don’t personally know too many (or any) cat-people, but from the numerous ones I’ve seen on TV, I can be sure those facts are true.

   What does this all mean?  People who own cats are no longer in control of their brains; the parasites are in control… or are the cats in control?  Really, the cats are probably in control since the parasites come from cats and force the host to submit to the cats’ desires.  So if half of the world population has essentially become zombies controlled by cats… what is the cats’ next move?

   That is why I have a dog…


…and why I am not human.

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