Things I Wish that Would Make Life Easier and Even More Awesome.

   Many an hour have been spent resolving problems that need not be problems.  There are many difficulties in life that need not be difficulties.  I’ve pinpointed a few of them in my quest to simplify and improve life and decrease time spent fixing issues. 

• I have never, on my first attempt, made a bed correctly.  It takes time to make a bed incorrectly, unmake it, then remake it.  So, when I’ve got to go through all those steps, it takes 300% the time to make the bed then it should.  Ridiculous.  The other day I discovered a solution; all beds should be square.  Being rectangular, the average person has only a 50% chance of placing the sheet correctly on the bed the first time.  If the bed is square, every single person will place the sheet on the bed correctly the first time.  There will be no second time.  Imagine how much time this reshaping will save!  Imagine how much it would change your life!
• Everyone, at least a dozen times, has used his or her cellphone screen as a flashlight.  It barely works, and you're guaranteed to either stub and break your toe or poke your eye out somehow.  I propose that all cellphones contain flashlights.  Imagine how many toes wont be broken and how many eyes wont get poked out.  Personally, I have never broken a toe or lost an eye.  Why?  Because I have a flashlight on my cellphone.  It is a mini flashlight specifically made for cellphones.  It’s been an eye-saver.
• I wish, and I’ve wished for a long while, that white people could grow afros.  The “Jewfro” exists, but that’s not quite the same.  I’ve always wanted an afro.  For years I’ve advised, very strongly, one of my friends to grow an afro.  He began to do so, but eventually started to go bald… and that was the end of that story.  However, if I had the ability to grow an afro, I would grow one so fast and so big that my neck muscles wouldn’t have the strength to hold my head up.  My head would just flop around like a yoyo with an afro.  That’s what I would do.  Definitely.

  

So, those are the three things that I currently wish.  Afros, flashlights, and squares.  The trifecta of awesome.